"Calculators"

A calculator? A calculator!
In such a place as this?
A "calculator"? Click it later.
Can't get fooled again.

I have a need, indeed; it's true
to know more 'bout this deal.
One bartender? Perchance two?
We'll do the math ourselves, my dear.

Yes, a calculator! I see it true.
And how could it be missed?
A button here, a popup there!
"Plan your package"? Now I'm pissed.

I know your tricks; you worms; you snakes!
They'll bleed you dry, make no mistake.
Fill in this form; that's all it takes!
Tell us that, and tell us this.

Thank you for the information!
The best of us will reach out soon.
What's that? A "quote"? We made a deal?
Try this on: our harpoon.

We've got you now; you whale; you fool.
Who do you think you are?
A plain result? Information?
It's much too cute to bear.

No, my friend: none for you.
We'll have this cake and eat it too.
You trusted us, you silly boy!
Why click upon our little toy?

The algorithm is quite simple
but it was not deployed.
Instead you get, when all is tallied,
lead generation; nothing more.

No calculator; not now nor later.
Those times are long gone:
of useful tools and friendly help;
we had these once, I think!

Respect? What's that? A KPI?
Will it help me climb?
Truth and trust? User-centric?
Shut up! you simple boy.

Look, my man -- we all get by;
cannot this you see?
I must not care; at threat of hunger;
for all but the C suite.

Oh, the metrics! Consult the graph.
This quarter and that one too. 
Sure, this can't go on forever;
but don't let all that worry you. 

We don't, in fact, need to trust
our neighbors or employers!
I'll get mine - you get yours, boo - 
and tear this world asunder.